To borrow the words of a film reviewer whom I share her very sentiment:
Harry, it’s not anger or Voldemort. It’s testosterone.
I’m writing this review for few people on Earth who, like me, have not read any of the Harry Potter books. There must be a few of us left. So, if you have been held at Guantanamo Bay or just woke up from a coma, this is the review for you.
I admit that I do not know the intricacies of the Potter mythology or any of the spells. I’m accepting this film on its face.
Yes, I don't have any of Pothead's books. OK, I'm lying...I have one. But I haven't read it. Bought it coz it was cheap. So, that goes. Reviewing this film on its face. And since the reviewer claims it's the testosterone and to pay homage to Daniel's full frontal in Equus, I'm going to testosteronize this review. And being the 5th in the series, also the 5th summer blockbuster sequel (after Spidey, POTC, Shrek, Die Hard), I would review this in all things '5'.
The movie's synopsis in 5 sentences, from IMDB:
As another year begins for Harry, at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry so does the never-ending articles stating that he and Dumbledore are insane.
As the ministry starts to invent new and malicious lies about Harry's account on Voldemort's return, Hogwarts begins to change for the worse as the ministry sends in their cure for all the insanity, Professor Dolores Jane Umbridge.
As she begins to inflict her rules and regulations on the students at Hogwarts they begin to find that with her as their teacher, they'll never be ready for the outside world.
So Harry along with his friends decides to take things into their own hands and begin to learn magic the real way.
As Harry starts having visions of terrible events happening with the Ministries very walls he decides to take action, leading himself and his friends into battle, ultimately teaching them what friendship, loyalty and sacrifice really means.
The movie in 5 words:
Film climax is the kissing
The movie's 5 promotional posters:
The movie's trailer in around 50 secs:
The movie's plot in 5 pictures:
Harry caught playing with his wand in public, put in trial and acquitted.
The conservative master who stopped students from playing with their wands and created mayhem.
The Minah Tudungs behind me shouted 'Cutenya kucing-kucing tu' upon spotting the kittens on the wall plates.The students pacted against the biotch by participating in an underground wand-playing orgy.
The hideous lord-with-no-nose tries to penetrate into Harry's teenage mind coz he hasn't got one himself.
Oh, the Godfather got killed.
The movie's 5 main selling points:
The reappearance of 'Golum'
The kissing scene
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.
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Ah, watch it yourself.
Overall, I would give it a 2/5 rating. There's really no climax in the movie except for that kissing scene. Strictly for Potter fans only. If you expect an action-packed, CGI-laden summer blockbuster, still stick to Tranformies.
Goblet of Fire's review in my parent blog The Sensintrovert here.
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