Wow, it's been quite some while since my last movie review.
WARNING: Spoilers ahead
Well, Jackie asked us not to expect too much from his most-anticipated collaboration with oh-this-is-my-last-epic-martial-art-movie-in-Fearless actor, Jet Li in The Forbidden Kingdom as 'it is a movie tailored for Yanks'. And yes, he is right. Yet another 'journey to the West' to go all out milking a Black/Asian's acting credentials while featuring a white hero. Expecting this film to suck, as much as Escape from Huang Shi (which I skipped), I'm a sucker for this deemed-first summer blockbuster movie and gave it a go at KLCC today.
First things first, let us revisit the synopsis of the movie, taken directly from TGV's website:
While hunting down bootleg kung-fu DVDs in a Chinatown pawnshop, Jason (played by Michael Angarano - "Will and Grace", LORDS OF DOGTOWN, SEABISCUTT) makes an extraordinary discovery that sends him hurtling back in time to ancient China. There, Jason is charged with monumental task: he must free the fabled warrior the Monkey King, who has been imprisoned by the evil Jade War Lord. Jason is joined in his quest by wise kung fu master Lu Yan (Jackie Chan) and a band of misfit warriors including Silent Monk (Jet Li). But only by learning the true precepts of kung fu can Jason hope to succeed - and find a way to get back home.
One would expect this movie to be based on Journey to the West, with all the Monkey God, Oink God, Sand God, Buddha God and Monk God et al. So, let us revisit Wu Cheng'en's storyline:
It deals entirely with the earlier exploits of Sūn Wùkōng, a monkey born from a stone nourished by the Five Elements, who learns the art of the Tao, 72 polymorphic transformations, combat and secrets of immortality, and through guile and force makes a name for himself as the Qítiān Dàshèng (simplified Chinese: 齐天大圣; traditional Chinese: 齊天大聖), or "Great Sage Equal to Heaven". His powers grow to match the forces of all of the Eastern (Taoist) deities, and the prologue culminates in Sūn's rebellion against Heaven, during a time when he garnered a post in the celestial bureaucracy. Hubris proves his downfall when the Buddha manages to trap him under a mountain for five hundred years.
But nope. You'll be disappointed. Well, what do you expect? The paper ads shouts 'No Cuts' - so would you expect the Malaysian Censorship Board to be so-ever generous in allowing a PIG (with a God status) on screen? Bah! Here's what you'll expect to get instead:
Jet Li, as Monkey King Sun Wukong AND Lan Caihe. The only MONK in the world with hair. And drinks Chinese wine. Supernatural power: Speaks Engrish in 'Tang dynasty'.
The drunken immortal-wait-a-sec-not-so-immortal-yes-immortal-again-after-drinking-mercury beggar/slacker with surprisingly good martial arts skill, Lu Yan, played by Jackie Chan. Supernatural power: Speaks Engrish in 'Tang dynasty'.
Here's a glimpse of the most-anticipated fighting duel scene from the movie:
"Li, Yanks been anticipating for this, so we'll throw in some fights, shall we?"Liu Yi Fei, as Golden Sparrow, an orphan who wants to seek revenge after her parents were killed and she was saved by hiding in a bucket inside a well. Not to be confused with Xiao Yanzi (of My Fair Princess). Supernatural power: Speaks English in a way that she's been going through loads of English lessons.
"Babeh, wanna ride my horse?"Collin Chou, as the evil Jade Warlord. Supposedly sent by an English-speaking Jade Emperor to teach Monkey God a lesson for creating havoc in Heaven, by tricking the monkey to give in his rod (pun not intended) and be trapped in a Terracotta-like stone figure forever. If you refer back to the original storyline of Journey to the West, he's the evil erhmm...Buddha! Isn't that a serious desecration? Burn down embassies! Bounty on John Fusco's head! Supernatural power: Making up like a drag (WTF with the green eyeshadows?)
"Do I look pweettyy with these green eyeshadows, my love?"Li Bingbing, as the White Haired Demoness, or rather White Hair Bride (pay attention to the strong reference to the movie earlier). Supernatural power: Trying to hard to be Rapunzel. Or Brigitte Lin.
"I've been waiting for Prince Charming to save me from the tower until my hair gone white!"Overall, although the storyline is soooo expected and nothing too brag about, the sceneries inside the movie actually saved the film (the paddy fields, the bamboo forest, Shaolin temple and monks - wait a minute, sounds like the scenes from all the Chinese-film-made-big-in-Hollywood, i.e. Fearless, Crouching and Shaolin Soccer, respectively?)...until this scene came along...
Cherry Blossoms in the middle of the dessert, anyone?Verdict: If you are a fan of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer-like compilation of all movie hits together sans the ridiculous comedy AND Carmen Electra, then leave your brains at home and go for it. Just don't complain that "Oh, this is not how Journey to the West looks like!". Should have came with a disclaimer: "White kids who travel to modern China will not meet kungfu masters. Instead, you'll be executed for speaking up."
Rating: 3/10.
All images are sourced from Rotten Tomatoes.
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